Part of the KDE (Kentucky Department of Education) curriculum standards for my grade level requires instruction on the solar system. To give you a brief overview - there are planets, constellations, and a sun in our solar system. They orbit the Sun (bet that was news to a couple of kiddos at BTE. Thanks, Renaissance scientists) and rotate on an invisible axis. Some have moons, some have rings, some have... you get the idea. I took the material and ran with it (responsibly). Made up songs, made Oreo representations of the moon phases, and made a fool of myself with a hula hoop and a flashlight (long story, short blog). After the lackluster test, I decided to give the class a little breather. Wait, let's be real - I took a sick day and knew my sub could potentially destroy my lesson plans and my room, so I left an "educational" video.
I'd (responsibly) perused the video - which, by the way came from the SCHOOL LIBRARY - and deemed it appropriate and even supplementary to the concepts studied in the solar system unit. As I went to my doctor's appointment and ate Cinnabons with Mom, I wasn't the least bit worried about the goings-on at Bug Tussle Elementary. Then, Monday came...
Within moments of the morning assembly, before I could even post my attendance - I was in the principal's office. It should be noted that this year, I've seen the inside of an administrator's quarters more frequently than the rest of my academic career (K-12 and beyond). Par for the course for the outsider and her wild classroom ways, I suppose? But I digress. This time, BTE's fearless leader was concerned over several phone calls that had poured in over the weekend and spilled into Monday morning's answering machine messages.
"Are you teaching the Big Bang Theory?! That's not in the curriculum."
I almost spit out my Blueberry Detox Green Tea. Apparently, for one time in their classroom tenure, some of my students actually listened. My amazement and momentary pride was quickly decimated as the principal continued is inquiry that felt strangely like the Spanish Inquisition. One of my students had gone home and gone CRAZY about ONE sentence in a children's solar system video that mentioned the Big Bang Theory. And the family had whipped into a frenzy. Sermons at small country churches raged on bringing God back to school and the dangers of the big bad world. The devout had gotten on the phones to call the local school and voice their righteous anger.
Now, I am a practicing Catholic who went to a Baptist university and taught at a Catholic school for the formative years of my teaching career. All this flew through my head as the weekend's events were related to me. In big bold letters in the depths of my brain was smeared the BIG BIG BANG. I almost chortled in crazed desperation. I thought of all the extremely intelligent arguments I could pose: it's a public school and Science is taught, it was one sentence in a child-friendly/school-approved video, my sub must have been a moron not to discuss the word "theory" (I would have!), it's a THEORY, no one was teaching evolution or creationism - because it's elementary school, St. Sign-of-the-Cross teaches about Big Bang, don't these people have anything better to do?, is Westboro Baptist picketing in the parking lot tomorrow? Are they boiling oil and plucking chickens in Bug Tussle this afternoon? If so, I'm taking another sick day...
The onslaught of questions, concerns, and rebuttals kept rolling through my mind, but I couldn't speak. I responded appropriately, answered factual questions about the video and the lessons I'd taught with Oreos and hula hoops and flashlights. And inside, I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. It was ludicrous, horrifying, and FUNNY. God help me, it was funny. And I wanted to laugh. And I still want to laugh. And at the risk of being preachy - here is why... Because to me, whether there was a BANG or a BOOM or a TA-DA or some other sound effect to announce the beginning of an amazingly intricate galaxy - can't it all just be a miracle? Call it Science or call it God - you're entitled to your belief. Me personally - I think God likes a BIG BIG BANG. And after the smoke cleared and the dust settled, he said "it is good."
XO,
